There’s this invisible line where when you get hurt/injured and you have to decide “should I go to the dr for this?” You talk to your runner buddies, they assure you that you’ll be fine. You go online and research what hurts and how you can fix it. The online advice is mostly saying rest and repeat. So you don’t go to the doctor. And why would you? Cost is outrageous.
Will my insurance cover any tests needed? And also how stupid will this doctor make me feel? I should have lead with, I hate doctors. I have come to the sad realization that they don’t know everything. And the little that they do know is mostly telling you how dumb you are for wasting their time. Well not in those exact words.
Why all this doctor talk? Because I am seeing one in just about an hour. I called and wanted to be scheduled for Monday, but they had an opening today and I decided it was probably better since I would have cancelled the one on Monday.
And why am I seeing a doctor today? Because my damned hamstring is definitely not healed and I need some answers. Yesterday I felt the really deep pinch, the pinch that wouldn’t go away with 800 mg ibuprofen. And the pinch turns into heat radiating up and down my leg. It’s pretty painful, and when I started limping out of nowhere I decided it was time.
I had thought I was past all of this. I thought I was out of the woods. Evidently not. I’ve already had 3 emotional breakdowns. Why? Mostly out of fear I guess. I feel like I’ve gained all this weight, and now I can’t even exercise semi-regularly with out being in pain. I’m so over this. And I’m fearful that the doctor will judge me for a- calling myself a runner, even though I am not some skinny perfect person. And b- tell me nothing is wrong, it’s all in my head.
I feel like I have to go in there and start off with a speech “I need to preface this appointment with, I don’t like doctors and I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t feel like it was serious”. Maybe not lead with “I don’t like doctors”. But you get my point.
Last night I had a few of these.
You know, to wash away my misery. I definitely need to figure out something better for stress. The beers are not helping!
I am assuming the appointment will be quick, and end with a referral to another doctor. Or the doctor will order some scans and go from there.
I just need some answers.
So what’s your take on doctors?